As a puppy, I recall repeated lessons on the importance of always being honest. If you weren’t honest and fair in your dealings, didn’t tell the truth (okay, sometimes you ‘shaved’ a bit!), didn’t honor your given word, you were not a serious or reliable person. You could not be trusted and should expect to be ostracized. YOU WERE NOT HONORABLE.

Our human interaction and society itself has essentially been built on the ability (nee necessity) of one person to rely on and trust another. We see its importance in both Old and New Testaments or the histories of the lying scoundrels populating our past. In all those, it wasn’t good to be a liar. You may get rewarded for a time but you would get your just deserts in the end, in this life or the next..

Our schools used to teach honesty as a fundamental attribute of life. Our families used to pride it and scorn those without it. Our institutions used to require it as a basic requirement to deal with them. Heck, even our currently wobbly legal system still swears people in before they testify and punishes those who lie to law enforcement and courts.

For years, I told clients that you could have a 100 page contract with someone but, if the person or enterprise was not honorable, you really only had a roadmap for litigation. A deal is really made between people who trust each other and the mutual outcome.

Okay, I know tomes are written on being honest with self, with others, even how honesty is relative! I am not going there. I pose a more simple ( maybe not ) question.

So, why in 2025 does it appear that honesty is no longer an essential personal characteristic or, as we used to say, a virtue?

Last evening I had dinner with a dear friend. He shocked me by saying that ” honesty in no longer relevant in our society”. Can that be true? if so, whither we goest?? When I objected, he said: “the current environment doesn’t really prize honesty. It thinks that competition or success is the gold standard and honesty often gets in the way of achieving those goals.” When asked what caused this. He demurred but offered “the influence of our pervasive sports and entertainment role models as well as the over emphasis on beating the competition have brought down personal qualities of loyalty and good behavior as models to follow.”

Before you say I’m off my kibble, please consider the corrosive effect of the last 50 + years for some support for my concern. Without belaboring it: our TV watching preferences have migrated to violence, betrayal, antisocial behavior and lawbreaking. Our news, fueled by Cable’s need to fill 24 hours has devolved into one big mess of unprofessional, false news reporting and sensationalism rather than dispassionate journalism that encourage the viewers’ independent thought. Sure in the old days, newspapers corruptly sided with one view /person over another, practiced Yellow Journalism, even started wars. but for the most part they took a long time to spread the ‘word’ and surely did not command the ear, eye and ‘brain’ as the 24 hour TV news cycle does.

Do we care that lying is pervasive? Have you tossed your hands in the air in despair for future generations as my friend fears? Are our leaders and thought influencers educating our kids in the wrong direction by their example as well as their words? Prominent people paying to falsify their kids’ credentials for admission to preferred schools. Government leaders stealing official papers they have no right to possess and hiding them in a garage or a mansion basement. Body counts that have no more meaning now in Gaza than in Vietnam 50 years ago. Elected leaders from both parties lying through their teeth to get elected (Santos) or to command TV time (Schiff:”I’ve got clear evidence of Russian collusion”), etc.,etc.,etc. For the latter: one punished one rewarded!!!

Would you hire a known liar to care for your infant? Would you willingly give cash to someone whom you know is going to do evil with it, because they just lied about the purpose for asking? Would you have a surgeon operate on you whom you know has lied about his track record or expertise?

If Honesty is on a steep decline, what can we do about it? I try to think about my kennel play group. You know, one to one. On a one to one basis, we can “do better”. But do we have the time to wait for all these one to ones to comprise the vast majority of interactions? I don’t believe so.

So, how about a more basic universal moral movement to reintroduce honor and honesty into our national discourse. Don’t reward liars by reelection. Critically evaluate the Press that befuddles if not alters the news instead of simply reporting it. Here, I pause to recognize again that the US has always had a history ( see the Hamilton Burr or Burr -Jefferson press wars , the lead up to the Mexican or Spanish American Wars or, most recently, the non-reporting of the universally ( except by the White House press who saw him every day in person) observed Biden decline.

The significant difference in the olden times and now is that back then ( 50+ years ago) we enjoyed a right to a freer expression of dissent. Today, oftentimes criticism of reported mistruths is viewed as extremism by whatever side and our courts and institutions knee-jerk a response to restrain what is viewed as inflammatory hateful discussion. Today, simple disagreement can become violent as if it were a hooligan traipsing from stadium to stadium after its favorite soccer team.

I’m sure I don’t have either a complete answer or any clear roadmap to one. But, I genuinely believe that if we personally recognize and promote the honorable among us and set aside the dishonorable we are on the right (read correct) foot. Also, if our churches and schools loudly proclaim that they are reemphasizing basic teachings of morality in one’s personal conduct we might get a few steps further along the road. In this, I was encouraged a few years ago by reports that some notable business schools were bringing ethics into their normal course load. While a welcome start, it focuses on adjusting the grown dog’s behavior. Start younger – when we puppies are more trainable.

I’d be grateful for your thoughts? do you agree? if not Why? Ideas for improving our situation? maybe one will catch on more globally.

Next time!!!